Codependency is a learned behavior that can negatively impact your relationships, self-esteem, and emotional well-being. Most simply, codependency is a behavior pattern that consistently causes people to prioritize the needs of others over their own. Though this can sound caring and altruistic, it can also result in emotional exhaustion and resentment when people aren’t mindful of the pattern.
True Life Center can help you recognize the signs of codependency and begin to create healthier boundaries in your relationships. Find out about cognitive behavioral therapy at True Life Center and break free from codependent patterns.
What Is Codependency?
Codependency is when individuals become emotionally entangled in another person’s needs at the expense of their own well-being. It most frequently occurs when one person takes on the role of caretaker, sacrificing their own needs in support of someone else. This can happen in romantic relationships, friendships, or within families.
A hallmark of codependency is an enmeshed relationship. This means that boundaries between individuals are blurry, and there’s a strong need for external validation. Relationship dynamics like these can result in high levels of stress, anxiety, and difficulties defining individual identity.
What Causes Codependency?
Codependency often stems from early childhood experiences that impact how people interact with other people later in life. Common causes for developing codependency include:
- Childhood conditioning: When people grow up in homes where self-worth is connected to taking care of others
- Family dysfunction: Children who have parents or a sibling struggling with addiction, mental illness, or emotional instability may develop codependent tendencies
- Unresolved trauma: Past experiences of neglect, emotional abuse, or inconsistent caregiving can create a need for external validation
- Low self-esteem: Individuals with codependency often struggle with self-worth and may believe their value is derived solely from helping others
- Fear of abandonment: Anxiety about being alone or rejected can lead to people-pleasing behaviors and difficulty setting boundaries
It’s important to meet your codependent tendencies with self-compassion. These tendencies are likely the result of years of doing the best you could in your environment. With the right help and new strategies, you can learn to live a life that’s free of codependency.
What Does Codependency Look Like?
Recognizing codependent behavior is the first step to breaking unhealthy patterns. Common signs include:
- Excessive people-pleasing: Persistently prioritizing others’ needs over your own personal well-being
- Difficulty setting boundaries: Struggling to say “no” and extending yourself past the point of your own limits
- Caretaker role: You feel responsible for solving someone else’s problems, even when it causes you a high level of stress
- Fear of rejection or abandonment: You fear being left alone, so you abandon your own needs to care for someone else’s
- Lack of personal identity: You find identity in relationships rather than in your own interests or values
- Suppressing emotions: A tendency to avoid feelings in order to keep the peace in relationships
- Control issues: Trying to manage others’ actions, emotions, or choices to maintain a sense of stability
How to Overcome Codependency
Breaking free from codependency requires the development of self-awareness, being intentional in your relationships, and sometimes professional support. Steps to recovery include:
1. Cultivate Self-Awareness
When people begin to recognize their emotional triggers and patterns, this is the first step toward change. Journaling, meditation, or therapy can all help you identify any codependent behaviors.
2. Set and Enforce Boundaries
Establishing healthy boundaries is a way to protect your well-being. Setting boundaries means learning that it’s ok to say “no” without guilt. It also means communicating your needs clearly and assertively.
3. Prioritize Self-Care
Learn to engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment. This will help you build your own identity outside of other people and fill your emotional cup. That way, you can help others without angst or resentment when the time comes.
4. Challenge Negative Thought Patterns
Codependent behaviors are built on unhealthy beliefs about self-worth. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps you better understand and reframe your thoughts, promoting healthier relationship dynamics.
5. Seek Professional Support
Therapy for codependency provides the tools necessary for lasting change. A therapist can guide you in developing self-confidence, forming healthier relationships, and embracing independence.
To Find Freedom from Codependency Call True Life Today
True Life Center offers a holistic, integrative approach that combines evidence-based therapies with personalized care to support your journey toward better mental health. Our team is made up of compassionate professionals who work individually with each patient to develop strategies for overcoming codependency and claiming their independence.
Contact us today at 858.202.1822 or visit us online to schedule a tour or consultation. Your journey to freedom can start today.
